Saturday, March 21, 2015

I only cried five times.

Crying is weird. Some people cry at the tragic end of epic movies, and some people cry when they’re extremely happy. I don’t generally cry at predictably sentimental moments like those. It’s the unexpected moments that catch me unawares, not those that I can prepare for, mustering any form of strength I might need. I didn’t cry when they took you from my arms and walked down the hall to the operating room. I told you to be strong and brave and that I’d see you in just a minute and laughed that you were interested in the song on the nurse’s iphone. I didn’t cry during surgery when I felt so far away from you (though I sat on the wall closest to your operating room and only budged to pump and pee). And I didn’t cry when I first got to see you again. But I did cry.

I cried on Wednesday morning before they came to take you for surgery.
There were about 10 minutes just before they took back where it was just the three of us. You weren’t allowed to nurse or eat anything all night, and you were hungry and tired and confused. We’d seen all the doctors and answered all the questions and signed all papers, and we were just waiting. We joked about running out the door with you. You went back and forth to Daddy and me, and we prayed, mostly with our hearts because the words had all been said. We kissed your head and told you how beautiful you were. A few tears may have slipped out.

I cried on Thursday night for your pain.
I was giddy when we finally saw you after surgery. You slept most of Wednesday night and Thursday, and everyone kept commenting on how well you were doing, not agitated or in pain. We rejoiced when the breathing tube came out, when the catheter came out, and when you kept down clear liquids. The swelling increased Thursday night though, and you cried out in pain, arching your back. Nurses gave you pain meds, and we worked to get you in more comfortable positions. I didn’t sleep, but just whispered in your ear and rubbed your arm. I knew it was temporary, but felt helpless to do anything for you.

I cried Friday morning when they let me hold you for the first time.
After an exhausting night, a bath and a new position and an adjusted pain meds schedule finally brought you some relief. Though the orders weren’t in yet to allow it, the nurse gave you to me so she could change your bedding. I had prepared for the swelling, but never imagined not being able to get you out of bed. I’ll never forget holding you for the very first time, but I won’t forget holding you this first time either.

I cried Sunday night when you opened your eyes again.
Through the frustration and discomfort of the swelling, not being able to open your eyes must have been the most disorienting for you. Your resilience was amazing as you began to play with toys, respond to our voices, gesture and point, and hint at the smile we adore. But when you opened your eyes Sunday night at the hotel and smiled at your big sister Evie, I cried a few happy tears knowing that your recovery was going to get even better.

I cried Monday after we got home.
On Monday, I cried grateful tears as I looked back on your recovery so far, remembering the way you noticed your big brother and sister when they came to see you, our fabulous nurses who were patient and tireless, and a music therapist who did as much for Evie as she did for you. We marveled that we were all home together again less than a week after surgery. And we were so blessed and thankful for the cards and well-wishes and support of so many family and friends who walked this journey with us.

You’re a rockstar, Cara. 

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