Monday, February 6, 2012

This one is for you, Mom. :)

Mom lets me know every so often that I haven’t updated my blog in a while. She’s usually right.

Please accept my sincere apologies for long delays in between updates. I’m busy…and tired. Very, very tired….

Today is February 6…That means I’m 19 weeks pregnant [slight panic attack], and Jackson is 21 and ½ months old [slight panic attack again].

I’m still feeling good – teaching classes at the gym and trying to rest when I can. I’m mostly just tired at this point, past the sick, sick part. We go for our 20 week appointment and ultrasound next Friday (the 17th), so we’ll find out if this sweet baby is a girl or a boy. Then, the real planning begins for us… Who gets to share a room – Payton or Jackson? Do we pull clothes bins out of the basement, or do we start consignment shopping for pink dresses and learn how to make cute bows? My platelets have stabilized around 100 at this point, but they did that last time too. With Jackson, my platelets didn’t nose-dive until about 6 months, so we’ll see what happens at that point. Depending on a lot of factors, an epidural is probably out of the question at this point, but if the platelets stay as they are, we’ll avoid the steroids and a specialist. I’m not worried about it – my midwives are monitoring it closely, and God is bigger than all of it.

Jackson continues to amaze me. His verbal skills are off the charts right now…the boy speaks in original, complete sentences (or thoughts) quite often. As we’re getting out of the car to visit Pops yesterday, for example, Jackson says, “Uhmon, Ayton. See Pops!” (Translation: Come on, Payton. See Pops.) One of my favorite things right now is that he doesn’t pronounce the “gr” sound, so my mom is Naaam (yes, that’s at least 2 syllables) instead of Gram, and Uncle Grant is Uncle Nant. In fact, I’m selfishly enjoying these imperfect pronunciations very much, and I’m trying to capture as many as possible on video before he says everything correctly. A little part of me will be very sad that we’ll have a “Christmas tree” next December and not an “ohfafree.” By the way, if you haven’t seen that video…you need to! He tells Wadol (Rachel) how it is.  Jackson is doing really well with Ms. Mary Jane who now keeps him during the day while I’m at work. She keeps 5 other kids of various ages and is phenomenal! She loves Jackson (how could you not, right?), and says he is the most masculine, “all-boy” kid she’s ever kept. Papa Bear puffs up with pride to hear that; Mama Bear winces in fear. Either way, we have the busted lips, bruised chins, tears wiped, and popsicles for pain to attest to that statement. Mary Jane says he runs all day at 100% (his only speed is FAST) and gets all the other kids to follow him around saying “I’m an airpane!” (yes, he leaves the “l” out for now). He likes “chool bus” sightings (school bus in case you didn’t get that) and only likes 2 songs on the VBS cd from last year - the “wild song” and nums (drums). We listen to those OVER and OVER again in the car…

One of my favorite blessings of motherhood is watching Andrew and Jackson together. Andrew is still ridiculously squeamish when it comes dirty diapers, but hearing about their adventurous walks to the creek and under the barbed wire fence make me happy. :)

Andrew and I are looking forward to a weekend getaway on our long weekend off work. Special thanks to my mom and dad (as always) for keeping little man. Then, we’ll be gearing up for J’s 2nd b’day and several visits from the Missouri crowd…can’t wait for them to see Jackson – it’s been since September!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Penguins Take Over The World!

Well, at least they did in my dream the other night. Yes, the crazy pregnancy dreams are back with a vengeance. This pregnancy has been very similar to my first in a lot of respects…the constant eating, the early morning (and sometimes all day) nausea, the extreme fatigue. But what’s drastically different about this pregnancy is that I don’t get to come home and take a nap after working all day because my very busy and energetic toddler needs dinner, play time, baths, etc. That, and there’s this one part of the class I teach at the gym that makes me so sick this time…it involves a lot of twisting, and my stomach isn’t happy about it. I’m not craving bacon this time, and I’ve had a strange obsession with Chef Boyarde’s spaghetti and meatballs. At least it’s a full serving of vegetables, right?! Chicken doesn’t seem to bother me this time, which is excellent news because Jackson pretty much loves all things chicken right now. I’m already 11 weeks, which means the time is flying by. Last time, the fatigue and nausea abated some at about 12-13 weeks…I’m praying that happens this time too!

Oh, and my platelets are low again. Six weeks post partum with Jackson, my platelets were back in the normal range. According to the blood work at my 8 week appointment, my platelets are down to 101, which isn’t dangerously low, but isn’t normal either. I could have told you that since the bruise on my arm where she took blood made me look like a junkie. I’m sure we’ll talk more about a course of action at my appointment next week, but my guess is that they’ll send me to the specialist again. She prescribed steroids the last two weeks of pregnancy (when my platelets were in the 40s – 30s could mean internal bleeding). Since I was somewhat responsive to those, they’ll likely go that route again. My guess is that they’ll do it sooner though – not at the very end. We shall see. I’m not worried about it…I know that God is bigger than all things medical and all my fears and anxieties. Since the platelets mean I won’t be able to have an epidural again, my hope is that I’m able to deliver with a midwife again.

Christmas has been super fun this year. Jackson is so into “Ofafrees” (Christmas trees), “whites” (lights), cooooookies, candy canes, and “noman” (snowmen). We drove through the neighborhood across the street last week at he was so excited to see all of the lights – he kept pointing out all the things he could name (which is a lot these days). He cares nothing for Santa and doesn’t understand stockings or presents, but I bet he’ll enjoy Christmas morning when he sees some exciting toys both he and Daddy are sure to play with.

Jackson has become quite a vocalist, by the way. His “Happy Dirtday” will melt your heart…even if it’s not your birthday. He’s got the tune right, adds the name in the right place, and shouts with excitement at the end. He brightened Pops’s day last weekend (it was his birthday Saturday, so we’ve been practicing), but Rachel and Memaw (Great Grandma) got serenaded too. Memaw cried. I saw her. Other title favorites include “Jingle Bells” and “Jesus Loves Me,” and “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” Oh, and he can sing the opening theme to Halo too thanks to Andrew’s creepy side.

Mom’s quickly recovering from carpel tunnel surgery, so hopefully she’ll be pain free very soon. My grandpa (Pops) is still struggling though. He had knee replacement surgery over a month ago and has had several setbacks and complications with pain, UTIs possibly related to his diabetes, etc. It’s tough to see him so immobilized, and it wears on my grandma, my dad, and his siblings as they try to help him through this. We just want him healthy and home for Christmas! Continued prayers are much appreciated.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Top 18


Here are the top 18 things you should know about Jackson at 18 months.

1. The kid still loves to eat, but he now wants to use utensils and plates. Meals are still messy, but he loves figuring it out.

2. He still prefers meat and potatoes, but doesn't really turn anything away. I'm lucky...I know.

3. Jackson probably says 100 words or more. He'll attempt anything you ask him to say! Therefore, he says words like "dude." What can you do?

4. In fact, Jackson has started putting words together in phrases and short sentences. For example, he said "shoes on" to me today when he figured out we were leaving the house for a grocery store run. He also stood on the back porch and yelled out to Bee-paw (who was rescuing the dogs from the rain), "come on!"

5. I can no longer buy those pant sets for him...he's wearing 18 months pants (mostly), but barely fits into some 18 month shirts. I'm buying 24 months shirts for him these days. I feel his pain....

6. Jackson can count to five, but often skips #1. Maybe he just thinks that too obvious.

7. Jackson can sing the entire first two lines of "Jesus loves me" virtually unassisted. I attribute this to his music CD, which he still listens to every night...AND the need for singing songs in the car to stay awake and during diaper changes to stay still.

8. Jackson can also match pitch. "Aunt Suzy" sings scales with him.

9. He has decided that music is important to him. From piano playing to listening to the church choir to drumming on the table, the boy is smitten.

10. Jackson and Payton have identical hysterical "I can't stop laughing" laughs. This I love.

11. In the morning, one of Jackson's favorite things to do is brush his teeth. He won't let me help him much, but enjoys making the "ahhhhhh" and "eeeeeeee" sounds while he "brushes."

12. Jackson still loves to read. He makes all the noises in Mr. Brown Can Moo, shouts "Hooray" at the end of Dr. Seuss's Shapes, yells "Stop!" and "Hopabpop" when reading Hop on Pop, names foods in The Very Hungry Catapillar, names animals like "zeeba" and "hippo" in his zoo book, and points out the moon both in the sky and in every book thanks to Goodnight Moon.

13. He weighs a little over 24lbs.

14. From almost the first moment in the day, Jackson is ready and asking to go outside. Thank goodness for the back porch on rainy days like today...not sure how he'll handle the cold come winter! Or me, for that matter. :)

15. A new gift from "Geam" (Gram) is a Cars bean bag chair. Jackson loves this. He reads to himself here and lounges with his sippy cup of milk. We like that he no longer lays all over the dogs' beds. Gross.

16. Jackson can correctly point out and identify anything that is yellow.

17. A favorite past-time of Jackson's is "reading" pictures. He loves to name all his favorites, "Jasson," "Mommy," "RayRay," "Josh," "Daddy," "Bee-paw," "Geam," and "Paaaaay," or "PayPay."

18. Jackson still possess the power to make Pops's day by running up to him and requesting a "riiiiiiiide." I'm pretty sure he always gets one. :)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Worrier (NOT warrior)...

So, I have always been a worrier. Like, to the point of anxiety kind of worrier. It’s totally irrational most of the time and definitely a detriment to my mental (and sometimes physical) health.

This is the week I’ve been dreading. My sister-in-law is out of town for a couple of weeks preparing for her wedding, getting married, and celebrating on a honeymoon. So, I called my dear friend Melanie who knows and loves my sweet Jackson to fill in. She was, of course, more than willing to help despite the fact that she’s enjoying life as a newlywed and getting back into the crazy juggle of 8 children’s school, work, and extra-curricular schedules, Mary Kay work, and teaching at the gym. But for some reason, I’ve been irrationally anxious over the longer drive getting him there and back to work on time in the mornings, had crazy fears of him falling down the stairs, and feel panicky over his schedule being interrupted and changed.

I’ve been super interested in Christian fiction lately and was reading the beginning of a book my mother-in-law recommended. The main character of the book was a child reading from the book of 1st Samuel at her mother’s instruction. And God spoke to me through that. Now, maybe that just means I need to read the Bible directly a little more often, but I just think it’s insane that God can speak to me through scripture in the opening chapter fictitious novel. Insane…and AWESOME.

In 1st Samuel, Hannah is one of two wives to Elkanah. Hannah had no children and grew bitter because of it. She pleaded with the Lord for a son and promised to dedicate him to His service if God would only give her this request. God, of course, does give Hannah a son…Samuel. And she gives Samuel to Eli. While this would be a hard (maybe impossible) task for any mother I know, Hannah praises God for his mercy and goodness and wholeheartedly entrusts the care of her son to her (and his) Creator.

If Hannah could give her son to the church and trust God to keep Samuel safe, sound, and blessed…then I can certainly trust God to hold Jackson close while I am simply at work for hours at a time.

As he does every night, my hubby prays for us. Last night, his prayer for me was that God would turn my worries into praises. Between that prayer and 1st Samuel, God has done great things for me. He has turned my worry into praise. As I drove over to Melanie’s this morning, I could hardly count the blessings…a stress free morning, a happy son who talked incessantly of playing with Piper, a great eating and nap day (not for me, silly)…the list goes on.

My favorite line in the song lyrics I shared a couple of days ago are insightful for me today:
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life are the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?

My heart is to stay home with my kid(s), but we’re not there yet. And God, because He is amazing, is using my unfulfilled desire to humble the anxious worrier my adversary would like me to stay. And along the way, He pours out way more grace and mercy and love than I deserve.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Blessings.

This song has been stuck in my head for a while...and for good reason. It is for anyone who has ever been disappointed, hurt, betrayed, afraid, lonely, or downtrodden. It's for anyone who has felt less than satisfied with all this world has to offer.

What if the blessings we pray for are actually these moments of need?

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise


Listen here.

Monday, August 1, 2011

And I got to be there.

I went to work today, but that's not what I'm talking about.

Since I have the luxury of KNOWING that Jackson is very well taken care of during the day, I don't worry about his well-being AT ALL. One of the hardest things for me about working outside the home though is that I miss a lot of things. I missed the first time Jackson rolled over, though Melanie did send me a picture via text message. You know, things like that.

After Jackson took his first steps way back in June, I thought for sure he'd be running around the house on his own within a few weeks. Then, I learned just how stubborn he was. I was okay with that (i.e. it was a LOT easier last weekend at the beach and at the dock that he wanted a hand at all times), but I was starting to worry that he'd be 18 months before walking on his own...and worse, that I'd learn he was walking all by himself via text message.

But God is good to me...He lined up GREAT childcare for Jackson (really, for me). And on my first day back, when I feared I might need water proof mascara, I didn't cry once, and I got to come home and watch Jackson walk all by himself for the first time. I saw him walk behind his scooter, leave it to walk to the TV, walk back, walk to the bookshelf, and then take off. I didn't miss it!! I got to see him figure it out and watch him puff up all proud of himself. I got to see the wheels turning in his head as he ventured further and further each pass. I got to hear him giggle with excitement.

Now, I know that chasing a walking/running toddler (as opposed to a crawling toddler) will be work - he's already put two whole rolls of toilet paper in the toilet. I'm okay with work.

I'm just glad I got to be here.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Boup Peas.

Allow me to translate: "book, please." You're welcome.

I'm not going to write about the fact that while I'm thankful I have a job since I need one and I have my fabulous sister-in-law watching Jackson this year, I'm so NOT ready to go back to work. I get summers "off," so no one wants to hear me complain...and I get that. I'll spare you.

Instead, here's an update on my sweet babies.

Jackson's vocabulary grows so much every day. I can hardly keep up with his words! Yesterday, we were looking at animal and letter flashcards (yes, I know he's only 1)...the boy said, "sssssna" (snake), "gak" (yak), "guck" (duck), and "eba" (zebra). He says "please" and "thank you" - usually at the appropriate times. If you listen carefully, you can tell whether he's saying "joose" (juice) or "shooose" (shoes). On our mini Tybee vacation, he learned "go" and "ssside" (outside) using the latter to the sheer exhaustion of everyone else. Tonight, he says to Pops and Great G'ma, "wiiiiiide" (ride). He wants to go for a ride on the golf cart...and totally gets one. His verbal skills are fantastic. He's STILL not walking though...double dose of stubborn, I guess. He's barely hanging on to my hand, but pitches a fit if he doesn't have it to "wap" (walk). I can't decide if I should just let him walk on his own when he's ready, or if I should put my foot down with these fits and force him to do it. I mean, he is 15 and 1/2 months old... He's also become quite a Grandpa's boy lately, always asking Grandpa to pick him "bup" (up). Not sure what he'll do when Grandpa goes back to work.

Payton turned 6 in June... She lost two teeth this summer, and we absolutely LOVED sharing both experiences with her. She had to be brave, and that second one took a little bribing. :) She also caught and reeled in her own fish last weekend...all by herself. She still won't touch the fish, but she didn't run from it, so we'll call it progress. Daddy couldn't have been prouder. She's gearing up for 1st grade, whether she likes it or not. We're praying for a better year...







Well...here goes another school year!